Ways of world

A friend of mine asked me
How does it feel
To walk in the shoes
Of a single woman.

Well, if you are independent,
And travel around in limos
Can afford a bodyguard
Or live with your family.

Society doesnot bothers about you
And you don’t bother about them
You both ignore each other
And walk your own ways.

If you are a lost cause
Out there to entertain them
Half of them hate you
Half of them are crazy for you.

If you are a miserable one
Begging for their pity
They treat you like a cow
They feed you and milk you.

If you are independent from mind
Don’t depend on anyone
Then they try their level best
To pull you down and walk all over you.

They love to see a single woman
As an object of pity or profit
Someone they can use or abuse
They hate to be absolutely ignored.

But at the end if you tally
The plus and minus of singledom
You see that its worth all the scorn
For it means flying in sky.

Flying in the sky of life
Tasting every thing freely
Without any obligation
Without any chain around me.

So those scorns and fury
Ebb away from your heart
While you sit at your window
And sip your morning cuppa at eleven.

While peace surrounds your being
Love envelops your heart
World looks so beautiful
Just like watching children at park.

violence and its aftermath..

A storm
Let a storm gather in the heaven
come down in your full glory
the glory only you can possess
which will show us your fury
fury against these destruction
using your name, your affection.

Killing a child of your very own
then telling that it was for you
to prove love for you
to cherish your glory
to uplift your name
to tell a golden story.

Let the storm blow away all
these old, decayed thing
that once were living, breathing
but have lost that life long.
now they only lie in pile
of useless, worthless thinking.

Once every useless thing is gone
let the heavens shine and rain
let the seeds of tomorrow be sown
full of peace, love for every thing
in harmony and full of nurturing
only love for you and your creation.

The storm
Dark, ominous clouds gathered in the horizon,
Rapidly they covered the heaven and sun
Merciless winds came down from all sides
Set to tear apart the entire world.

Every thing weak blew away in that wind
Every thing tender fell to the earth
The cruel pure light of thunders flashed
The distant drum of victory rang.

The rain

The rains came down after the storm
the cloud played the gentle drums
pure water of love and peace
came softly down from above.

They cleaned away the dust
Gathered through the centuries
They washed away all rust
From the chains around souls.

Rusted chains of slavery to thoughts
created through worshipping oneself,
Across the centuries in god’s name
all blown away in storm, washed in rain.

Every thing was pure and clear
No stains of yesterday was there
Waiting for tomorrow to come
To play after the stage was set.

The aftermath

The cruel winds blew away every thing
That was old, and rotten, shallow,
The tender seeds full of life and love
Which were sleeping deep below,
Gently opened their eyes and streched
Their limbs, yawned and sprouted out
To cover the world with luscious green.


Tomorrow

If you had seen those ominous dark clouds
looming over the horizon with dazzling sparks
heard the screaming wind and tearing thunders
you would have been surprised
such a destruction was the base
of a tree full of blossoms waiting
to turn into ripe, sweet fruits
for hungry birds and humans.
the creator creates and destroys with reason
he destroys only to built the world anew
don’t play God, don’t destroy, unless you can
bring those things, or better things back to life.

honesty is worth trying

Life some times throw some interesting questions at us, we often measure the winning of life’s battles by the mean of material wealth, but is it really so? I personally believe that the final treasure which we amass is in our soul, not in our home, and the former treasure is root of all the happiness in world.

I have a friend, he is a very honest guy, honest means those copy book honest, who believe in living an honest life and in protesting wrong things. He lives in a remote town, he tried to stop some illegal things being done in his town by some hot shots backed by political leaders. As a result, they tried to crush him down from every angle, they used to threat him, scandalize him, a couple of time physically abused him, in one word, they tried to make his life a perfect hell, he had to leave the town and settle outside west Bengal to earn is living. But still he protests when he sees some thing wrong, whereas his tormentors often boast that if some one dares to protest them his condition will be like him. But I personally feel that they know that they have lost the battle, their only small win is making that guy leave the town, their boasting is bleak and groundless, because they might have called themselves conquerors if that guy had bowed down before them and accepted their corrupted activities without protest.

I have a deep belief in the old saying, that honesty pays. In the long run, it’s the honest people who are happy and satisfied. They may get exploited, bulldozed, hounded, but the amount of satisfaction and inner peace they get is worth the trouble. And I also have started to believe another thing that honest people are most scandalized.

Manner of protesting

I personally believe that the true nature of a person is identified by the way he protests. You will see it if you observe people around you keenly. There are people who don’t say a word until they are pushed in a corner, and there are people who get nasty if their mistakes are rectified by some one. For example you can say there are people who silently bear the blaring of microphone right outside their window throughout the night, and there are people who beat them up who dare to protest about that nuisance.

Or we can talk about Bittu, he has not studied much, his favourite past time is he hangs around all the joints in locality and scrutinizes all the people who pass by minding their own businesses. His best friends are the persons of same profession as him, mostly jobless or petty workers, working for small payments.

If he sees some one smartly dressed or happy or confident some thing fumes inside him, he sneers at them and passes snide remarks. Tries to make them feel guilty for their superiority or happiness. If he sees some lady well dressed up his first remark is that woman is going for a date, if he sees a guy listening to music in his ear phone his pat remark is he is deaf, and that is his hearing aid. He calls it his way of protesting against moral corruption. He eagerly joins all kind of protest and is a snap away from vandalism, always. It takes a raindrop to make him violent.

Or we can talk about Prema, she is always dead confident that whatever she is saying is correct, if you try to talk against her opinion, she will either lose her temper and become rude or quarrel with you. As a result most of the people fall silent the moment she opens her mouth and leave her vicinity or sit beside her in dumb silence making her even more confident that she is right and everyone else is fool.

If we watch around us we will see that not only individual human beings like bittu, but societies also often act this way. Like, there are politicians, religious leaders, business men, muscle men who crush down all the possible threats to their existence, there are even more arrogant ones who crush down any thing they don’t like. Without even bothering to think about giving their victims the minimum human right.

Confused in love

Indians are ONE confused lot when they are talking about this very natural and eternal phenomenon LOVE. A few years back, that is a couple of decades, this very natural pheonomenon was treated like an odd thing, people did not dared to admit openly that their marriage was lovemarriage, now, courtsey to greeting card companies things have come out of the closet and people have become over obsessed with showing it off, but the CONFUSION is still there, as much it was twenty years ago.

I have heard people arguing over rich people falling in love with poor, hindu with muslim, older women with younger men, people of same gender, all these arguments have one thing in common, we always try to play naysayers and prove that we know better than the lovers. I will share three of the most common cases.

One of my friends was in love with a colleague who was 4 or 5 years older than him, he once asked me for my opinion, and I honestly told him that its entirely his decision, if he believes that husband and wife are soulmates, then why not, later, his family and friends pressurized him to marry some one of their choice, who obviously is younger than him, and that guy is still bitter about it. Because he thinks that they made him lose his soulmate.

My suggestion to him now, that he is married, he should be content with his present life. If he really loved that woman that much, he would have risked marrying her. But by getting convinced by his parents and friends he proved that the foundation of his love was not as strong as it should be. He forgot one simple thing, that when people marry as per norms even then they have too many storms to face among themselves, and if they marry against social norms then they will have to face LOT MORE problems. Famiy and social hostility, sniggers, sarcastic remarks, boycots, preachings, poisoning.. the list is really very long. The marriage will survive if and only if the love is too deep.

The second case ended with happier note, the eternal hindu muslim squabble, but the marriage was accepted by both the families after the first child was born. Here also the families tried their level best to separate them, the girl being a muslim was not allowed to attend the religious functions, not only that even the boy was barred from them, because his wife was muslim. But things changed a lot after the first child.

The third category are most probably the most tortured ones, and it really mystifies me why they are targeted so viciously, so what if some one prefers a person of the same gender? Is it worser than having a spouse and children yet maintaining relationships with more people? Or killing, maiming, selling drugs or wasting public money? When we can accept these people and even make them our representatives in every sphere of life why do we force these people to kill themselves? Just because they cant fight back?

Is acting against the normal social norms, and doing something weird but harmless is some thing more vulgar than marrying some one for his or her money? Or flirting with more than one persons at a time without loving any of them? Then, if we accept the later incidents then why cant we accept the first one? The fact is none of them is normal, they are a little out of the routine.

The same gender relationship is harmless for the society, if we let them be, but the latter ones are harmful for the society. No, don’t go day dreaming, I am straight, if I had any such tendencies I would not have hidden it. just like you, I too cant imagine why a person is interested in same gender, but I know how to mind my own business. As long as they don’t bother others, they should be left alone.

We forget one simple thing that love is a very spontaneous and genuine feeling, it just lights up two hearts, and those two hearts should be left to make the decision. All we can do is suggest, not preach or bully. Even if the person they are loving or planning to marry is just not their type, we can only point out the psychological or other differences, and leave the decision on lovers.

Interfering too much in relationships as intimate as love or marriage, is basically a sign of immense immaturity, I think there is only one ground on which people may try hard to convince their loved ones, that is, if they think that the love is one sided, and their loved one’s object of fancy is trying to use his weakness. In that case I think any conscientious friend should intervene, at least I would. But I will always keep in mind that it is none of my business, I may be told to behave myself. But I will.

Celebration of womanhood

After passing almost forty years in India as a woman, I really have started to believe that women are not much welcome in this country. If they go by the rulebooks of the society she has to face one set of problems and if that woman has her own existence, personality and lifestyle she has to face another set of problems.

I belong to the latter category, so I can share my view, ever since my childhood I was head strong about independence, I believed in living life according to my own terms and conditions, of course, I lived a life which according to my eyes was honest, well mannered, pure and justified. But not to others I guess, so they kept on pointing me out that I am wrong and the society is right, till the date I turned a deaf ear to them, and after seeing the condition of the obedient disciples I am happy about my decisions, my observations say only one thing, just the colour and shape of the chain changes, the society just wants to wear women chain they select them to wear. It will be finalized by a bunch of people how you will walk, how you will talk, what will you eat, drink, who will you mix with, a bunch of people who don’t care about your pain and happiness, your existence and non existence. No matter whether you have been obedient or disobedient, they wont be around you when you need them, but they will always be around to point out your mistakes or brand your normal behaviour as mistake. So I think I was smart being disobedient. Because by being disobedient I am atleast enjoying my independence and the joys related to it.

When I first learnt to ride a bicycle, all eyebrows shot up, I had wanderlust, I just loved to ride my bicycle every morning for miles, now, that’s not appropriate for young ladies of small town, hence I used to hear cat calls, then there was another provocation from my end, I used to wear jeans, and learnt karate, so, I had a bunch of admirers who were pretty confused about my gender and used to call me a man dressing up as a woman because I dared to trespass in their so called territorry. The third and final provocation was the decision of staying single, this is the decision which I have earned most dearly, the type of remarks I have heard or harassments I have been through have made me even more happier that I have chosen to stay independent, and have not let people drag me into a relationship with some one who doesnot respects a woman as a human being.

After reaching the point, when no remark can make much impact on me, I feel amused, amused about the obsession of human beings in controlling other people’s live. Why do people do that I will never understand, because I always believed in independence. But one thing is for sure, I do respect middle class women who have the courage of standing their ground and facing the wrath of the society. By joining odd professions, by living their own honest but independent lifestyle. The confidence on their face makes me happy, they are achieving for some thing which we initiated.

Aggression

If we observe keenly we will sadly agree that modern world is of shoving and pushing. The more aggressive you are, the more mileage you will gain. Aggession and ruthlessness has become the mantra for success. Today the gentlemen are roughly pushed to back seat by less qualified or eligible go getters. The softer you are the worser nightmare your career life will become, no matter how capable you are if you cant fight tooth and nail for it, or opt for the “by hook or by crook” policy you wont be able to make steady place.

There will be always a fear lurking in the corner that some one will grab your well deserved seat by some under the seat method.

If we see we will realize that its just the way the society is moving, it does not all of a sudden pops up its head once a person joins an office. Modern day children are brought up that way. Our parents used to teach us compassion, humility, affection. Today the children are taught to be competitive, ruthless, selfish. When they grow up they give the society the same. It does not have any connection with poverty, today the luxury in the life of common man is far more than it was twenty years ago.

We were taught by our parents that sharing never makes you poor, it makes you spiritually rich. The boys and girls who did not shared were called selfish, but today they are called smart.

Some how the sharing tendency has changed to grabbing tendency. We have started to think mainly for only us, even our parents don’t fall in our private circle. We often take them as threat to our luxury too. We cant share our excess income with them, forget about bare necessities.

I have read in an article that its due to population explosion, a group of scientists have proved it with a group of rats in an confined enclosure. The more their numbers grew their aggression increased. If we study human society, we will see the same symptoms. There is an overeager ness for grabbing for things, which we may never need.

Say, for example, where is the problem in sharing our excess clothes or money with people who don’t have any? Is it necessary that we will have to make a postmortem or set up an enquiry committee to assess the worthiness of the stretched hand? How poor he really is, what does he does with the one rupee coin which we gave them or the rejected shirt we gave them? I remember the beautiful doha by rahim which meant those people who stretch their palm for favour are already dead, but those who refuse them are doubly so. They have died before them.

We are forgetting that every society moves together to get a goal. People bulldoze others in stampede or battlegrounds, not in a civilized society. If we turn away our face from the suffering of other peoples, burning down of their houses, our homes will not be saved either.

playing with fire

Pradeep could clearly see that there was some thing wrong with the father and daughter sitting right opposite him, the girl was too subdued and the guy who introduced himself as his father was not acting like one, the way he was looking at that girl and touching her was any thing but paternal.

He kept watching them pretending as sleeping behind his dark sunglasses, and as if by God’s grace the opportunity came, the guy got down at a station to fetch water and when the train started he missed the compartment.

Pradeep expertly coaxed the girl into a talk and the story which he came to know was horrible. The girl, Priya, as she looked was the daughter of a rich industrialist studying in eighth standard, his father was busy with his life and mother was busy in her own special life, so they forgot their most important duty, bringing up the child.

They gave her own cell connection, net connection at home, and a car and chaufferat her service. She met this guy in a chat room, he showered her with affection, won her trust and taught her to cheat her parents. He asked her to introduce him to her parents as his mathematics tutor, her parents innocently walked into the trap and opened their doors for him.

He became a regular visitor of their house when they were absent, and wove his net around that innocent child, he told her she has the prettiest face in whole India and the talents of becoming a heroine, he took her photographs and slowly coaxed her into taking obscene photographs, which he told was necessary to become a heroince, he fooled her that the photos and negatives will be with her only and gave the negatives to her, keeping a copy for himself without her knowledge.

Next he told her that he knew influential people in Mumbai and they will have to buy their way for the initial break, initially he brainwashed her to squeeze out money from her parents on various pretexts and hand it over to him, which he told he was saving for the fees but finally he told they will need a lot more. He coaxed the girl to steal all the jewellery and cash she could and meet him at Howrah station. He gave the alibi that she will return lot more to her parents once she becomes a successful heroine.

Once they met in Howrah station the guy told Priya to not say anything to her parents, because if they come to know that she has stolen the jewellery and cash and have let him take those photographs they will hate her and may even kill themselves out of shame, every thing will be solved once she is a famous heroine. She can wait till then and trust him.

Pradeep felt sick, he gently coaxed the girl and squeezed out her parent’s address and phone number, when the guy appeared at the next station Pradeep was again faking sleep, he sat down beside Priya without suspecting any thing.

Pradeep got down at the next big station and called Priya’s parents, told them every thing and asked them to meet her in Mumbai station at any cost, he gave them the details of the train, compartment and seat no.

When the train rolled in Mumbai the next afternoon a well dressed respectable looking couple walked inside the compartment, the shock on Priya and her companion’s face told Pradeep the story, he got up and caught the hand of the girl, the guys beside the couple caught hold of the Culprit.

Later in the afternoon Priya’s parents were sitting in Pradeep’s apartment, Priya was sleeping in the next room after crying all the morning. Pradeep gave them a solid piece of mind about bringing up adolescent children, which they heard mutely.

sun, moon and truth

Mrs Gupta first observed Swarna sitting alone on the bench, she stopped in front of her and asked if she can join her for a while. Swarna nodded with a sweet smile, which was her second nature but Mrs. Gupta was a little surprised this time. She knew Swarna was a very brave girl but has not expected this much mental strength either.

She was in love with a person very deeply. That person Tushar lived in Mumbai, they have met only twice, and their friendship was completely through internet and phone calls, which lasted for hours. He came down to her city and they met only twice. Swarna fell in love with him when she first saw him because she found every thing in him which she was looking for in life and spouse. But unfortunately he felt the other way round and became cold and distant after returning back to his place.

His calls stopped, and mails became infrequent, in her blind obsession she failed to notice these things. Then he picked up a quarrel and disappeared for three months.

She tried to patch up and when he responded after three months she observed that his way of talking, voice has changed a little, when she queried he told her he has changed the handset.

Their friendship resumed a little bit of old pace but he remained aloof when it came to next step. The person who was obsessed with her all of a sudden started to act like a flirt.

A year went by like that, then she came to know from a person of that town, who has accidentally joined her office and knew Tushar, she came to know from him that the guy who introduced himself was not Tushar, he was his cousin from Swarna’s town. Tushar liked Swarna a lot but he was married, and he has hidden that fact from her.

He was married to a woman with huge bank balance but evil temper, he had two children. He loved her but used to hide his friends from her because she was over possessive and made a fuss about these things, even if the friends lived in far away places like USA or England.

He asked his cousin to meet her and certified her as a good girl, he did not liked her much so he talked with Tushar and backed off. Unfortunately Tushar’s wife got the hint of the entire episode and forced his husband to hand over the sim card to her. She promptly gave it away to her family telling them the entire story. Her father gave the card to his chauffer branding swarna as a corrupt woman chasing a married man.

He impersonated as Tushar, which was not very tough for him, and incidentally his voice resembled his quite a lot, and kept on making fun of her with his friends for all these months.

Her colleague spilled the beans to Tushar and he retrieved and blocked the SIM card after apologising to Swarna, but their friendship ended then and there. His cousin also called her up and apologised for the entire episode and offered his help if needed.

Swarna smiled at Mrs. Gupta and said, “You know aunty, every coin has its flip side and flop side, its true I loved Tushar with all my heart, but I am happy that I have been brought up with strong values.”

“If I had lost my values during that meeting with his cousin I would have lost every thing. I don’t believe that if you lose one love your life is stopped there.”

“Love varies from people to people, there are people who love only once, there are people who cant love at all, and there are people who keep on loving till they meet their ideal match and settle down with that person. I think I belong to the last category.”

“As for feeling humilliated for this episode, I think Tushar’s family acted as per their taste. Tushar did only one thing wrong he would have told me that he is married. But this episode did not splattered a single drop of ink on my soul. Because I always keep my conscience clean and keep my faith on God and his justice. Do wrong and you will be soon reaping what you sowed. You cant hide three things for long time sun, moon and truth.”

Mrs. Gupta softly placed her hand on hers, and thought inside, how we can learn from some one so younger in age, if only we keep our mind open.

A gentle breeze started to blow in the park, bringing with it fragrance of flowers and ripe fruits.

Solitude and loneliness

People love to make this mistake, they confuse between loneliness and solitude, single and lonely, silent and sad. The list is never ending.

People often make a misconception that the people who live with themselves mostly, creating a blank space around them, which is penetrable yet non penetrable at the same time are unhappy or depressed. It’s the one of the biggest misconception any one can make in case of judgment.

I am one of these person, who love to spend long time on my own, simply not interacting with any one, I love to be on my own, listening to music, reading, watching movies on computer or surfing the cyberland. I always loved observing others but from a distance and without interfering in their affairs. During my school and college life I used to sit in a seat from where I was not visible to any one, and used to watch people walking on the street, they never felt the irritation of being watched, and I loved to see them in their natural way. Or in get togethers my role was more of a spectator enjoying the show.

Till now I don’t join in festivities like bursting crackers or pandal hopping, instead of that I love to watch those who are doing it, playing with crackers, colours or all decked up and dancing with joy.

People often form a misconception that I don’t mix with people because I think I am superior than them, a fact which I just cant make them understand that I know I am like every body else, but I love to watch people from a distance, I don’t like to mingle with some one until and unless he or she forces himself or herself into my space or I see some thing interesting in them. I rather love to play the role of audience, to watch the wheel turning.

In general I prefer just to watch and listen, not talk. That does not means I am homophobic or depressed. That means I am at peace with myself and the world. Sometimes those who think otherwise and try to tear my cocoon and get too cozy are the only one who get stinged, because I guess I am over protective of my solitude, of that blank space around me.

I really wonder every time I sting some one if it is really my fault or the clumsiness of these naïve people, who don’t understand the simple truth that need of solitary time varies from one person to another. Some people always want to have some one they can talk with, share their feeling and some people would not mind living in an isolated island.

I have finally concluded that the friction of social and unsocial people is eternal. Social people think unsocial people rude and unsocial people think that social people are naïve. Seekers of solitude always crave for hours of solitude in the urban jungle, and the social animals get confused about their true motive and make up opinions about them. Thinking it is really odd that a person would rather prefer to stay with himself for hours instead of talking with others, or having company of others.

Cyber horrors

Internet can be a blessing or curse for lonely people seeking human companionship through it. I have often read about lonely and naïve people falling in the clutches of the most devious people and heading for heartbreak or worse.

There are a few incidents worth sharing from which we can learn lessons. All of them involved people of matured age, no one involved was minor or child, so it can be assumed that we adults can be hoodwinked too, right?

First one I read in newspaper, a young South Indian doctor studying in USA fell in love with his net friend, an exquisite beauty from Hongkong, he fell in love with her so much that he proposed to her and she agreed to marry him, on condition that he will settle down in Hongkong where she was a nurse. Slowly he started to send his earnings to her so she could look for a decent flat and job for him in Hongkong, he drained all his savings and transferred it to her account, then he went to meet her, and found that the 23 year old svelte beauty was an illusion, the actual woman was 48 year old, with a husband and seven children. All the money which he has fished out of from his hard earned salary has been already spent on that hungry family. He sued the lady and returned US broke and heartbroken. The result of the case was yet to be out.

The second one I heard was about two engineering students, lovers, they opened email ids in names of male and female and both used to use these ids together, to fool others, they both used both the ids, sometimes together, some times independently, used each other’s phones and in the process made fun of those who walked into their trap. Their cover was blown when one ardent admirer of the female version, that is the female id they used, insisted on meeting her and landed up in the college, and the guy, exhausted, admitted that he and his lover used to play this game.

The third one is famous all over India, the way the Pakistani cricketer was shown the photograph of one woman and he married some one completely different through phone nikaah. This was an example of too much trust, I think he is the only one person in the whole universe who can have that much blind faith on a net friend. But it showed us the picture too, the tricks net can play.

The fourth one is pretty unsavoury, it was about a group of linked criminal minded educated youth, they used to visit the chat rooms or friendship sites of net, used to sort out lonely people, trap them in their net and rob them off their money by blackmailing them or simply duping them.

They used pseudonyms, and separate ids, they used to befriend each and every victim in a group. Victim never guessed that they are a group but they worked as a group and helped the one their victim fancied most to entrap the victim, by coaxing the victim to fall in love with him or her. And once the victim was in their grip they used to either entrap him or her for blackmailing or for duping. The group was not limited to one single place, they were scattered all over Delhi and surrounding places hence were never caught

chosing right friend

After having too many good friends in life, some of whom have filled up my life with love, joy and happiness, I have learnt one lesson, that is if some one finds a loving friend, who wants to stay throughout the life, he is luckier than the richest person in life, but such luck is rare.

Friends in one hand can be a source of great joy and peace but on the other hand they can cause immense pain, because we expect truly unselfish affection from friends, hoping that they will love us just the way we are, ignoring our harmless lacking, like gawky looks, empty wallet etc etc. but quite contrary to our belief, there are people who go by such trivial things when they are choosing friends. And when simple minded people get entangled with them, the result is always painful.

As a person who was extremely affectionate, loyal, love hungry and extremely plain, I have few things to share, I believe that its extremely improbable for people like me to get friends who will match our level of enthusiasm about friendship. Because in present age most of the people look for entertainment in every thing, in movies, in books, in relationships every where, hence those, who are like me, whose mindset is fifty years old should be extra careful of their feelings, and should know when to let go. That’s the biggest mantra of happy relationships.

There are few ways in which we can expertly de-weed, that is let the casual people go, throw the dangerous ones out and stick with only serious people. There are two types of temporary friends, one those who are completely harmless, and just don’t want to stick with some one unless they are too much impressed by them, these people come to your life overflow it with their sweetness and then just disappear, no matter how much you try, they don’t stay back. You will slowly come to know their nature, they gradually distance themselves, their warmth slowly disappears, and if you still cling to them they become cold and some times rude, they try to make you understand in every possible way that they are not interested in you any more, like not picking up your phone, but telling you how much they love talking with mister x or miss y, they often spend hours with them on phone. Whenever you mail them, the answers are in one or two lines, or try to chat with them, they disappear with polite excuses, but later tell you elaborately how they spend pages of mail to others, or chat for hours with other, If you get that hint, good, otherwise these people can sometimes become nasty, or rude. Just let them walk away, and if they come back, think twice before giving them access, just admit the truth that they are not the committing type. They will move away the moment they saw some one more interesting.

The second type are to be thrown away from your life the moment their cover is blown, these people lead an unhappy personal life, and as a big majority of unhappy people, try to spread that poison to others. They will become friends with you, then try to irritate you, snub you, insult you and if you don’t give in, then try to misuse the information you have already passed on to them. Just don’t share too much information with friends unless you are very clear about their motives. And take my tip, some times deliberately give them some false information to gauge their intentions. In my 3 years of net friendship I have come across these two categories of people, and am yet to find the friend who will stay back.