chosing right friend

After having too many good friends in life, some of whom have filled up my life with love, joy and happiness, I have learnt one lesson, that is if some one finds a loving friend, who wants to stay throughout the life, he is luckier than the richest person in life, but such luck is rare.

Friends in one hand can be a source of great joy and peace but on the other hand they can cause immense pain, because we expect truly unselfish affection from friends, hoping that they will love us just the way we are, ignoring our harmless lacking, like gawky looks, empty wallet etc etc. but quite contrary to our belief, there are people who go by such trivial things when they are choosing friends. And when simple minded people get entangled with them, the result is always painful.

As a person who was extremely affectionate, loyal, love hungry and extremely plain, I have few things to share, I believe that its extremely improbable for people like me to get friends who will match our level of enthusiasm about friendship. Because in present age most of the people look for entertainment in every thing, in movies, in books, in relationships every where, hence those, who are like me, whose mindset is fifty years old should be extra careful of their feelings, and should know when to let go. That’s the biggest mantra of happy relationships.

There are few ways in which we can expertly de-weed, that is let the casual people go, throw the dangerous ones out and stick with only serious people. There are two types of temporary friends, one those who are completely harmless, and just don’t want to stick with some one unless they are too much impressed by them, these people come to your life overflow it with their sweetness and then just disappear, no matter how much you try, they don’t stay back. You will slowly come to know their nature, they gradually distance themselves, their warmth slowly disappears, and if you still cling to them they become cold and some times rude, they try to make you understand in every possible way that they are not interested in you any more, like not picking up your phone, but telling you how much they love talking with mister x or miss y, they often spend hours with them on phone. Whenever you mail them, the answers are in one or two lines, or try to chat with them, they disappear with polite excuses, but later tell you elaborately how they spend pages of mail to others, or chat for hours with other, If you get that hint, good, otherwise these people can sometimes become nasty, or rude. Just let them walk away, and if they come back, think twice before giving them access, just admit the truth that they are not the committing type. They will move away the moment they saw some one more interesting.

The second type are to be thrown away from your life the moment their cover is blown, these people lead an unhappy personal life, and as a big majority of unhappy people, try to spread that poison to others. They will become friends with you, then try to irritate you, snub you, insult you and if you don’t give in, then try to misuse the information you have already passed on to them. Just don’t share too much information with friends unless you are very clear about their motives. And take my tip, some times deliberately give them some false information to gauge their intentions. In my 3 years of net friendship I have come across these two categories of people, and am yet to find the friend who will stay back.